The Dick Button Drinking Game

Here's a drinking game all skating fans can play the next time ABC broadcasts a skating event.

Some of you may be familiar with "Hi Bob," the game in which you watch an old episode of "The Bob Newhart Show" and drink everytime someone on the show says "Bob" or "Hi Bob." Well, my drinking game is called "Hi Dick."

Here's how you play:

Every player has his or her poison of choice at the ready. Rules are as follows:

Each player picks a skater in the competition. If the skater is known to be one Dick Button likes (Brian Boitano, Paul Wylie, etc.), that player has to drink every time Dick praises him/her for even the slightest little move. If the skater is known to be one Dick Button dislikes (such as Alexei Urmanov), that player has to drink whenever Dick criticizes him/her. If he criticizes the skater for being unmotivated, the player has to chug.

Every time Dick utters the word "nice" or the phrases "first rate," "this young lady," or "this young man," everyone has to take a drink. If he says "HOW nice!", everyone has to chug.

Also, everyone has to chug when Dick calls upon his Harvard erudition to describe a skater, or a situation at a skating event, in a way that only he seems to comprehend (such as calling Kate Robinson "the quintessential pre-Raphaelite heroine").

I hope everyone has fun playing "Hi Dick." I am sure that if you play the game according to the rules, you will wake up at some time the next day with a hangover the size of Dick's ego, muttering, "Who won anyway?"

--"The Dick Button Drinking Game" (first created in 1994) is the invention of Trudi Marrapodi. If you have any additions you'd like to see considered, or Drinking Games for other skating commentators ("The Rod Black Drinking Game," etc.), send them to SkateWeb. Proper credit will be given to the originators.

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