This is a somewhat random collection of skating jokes....



Q. How do you get a complex ice pair number?
A. Find a real figure skater and pair him with Surya Bonaly! 
(from Ana Gonzalez)


Well, I heard on a news show the other night that Tonya Harding
(claims that she) is being stalked!  I'm not strong enough to
resist the impulse to do this, so forgive me, all, as I bring 
you... The Top 10 Reasons Why Tonya Harding is Being Stalked.

1.  Kristi Yamaguchi heard that Tonya was talkin trash about
    her and is comin to town to kick her ass.
2.  The five people who saw "Breakaway" want their money back.
3.  ISU judges at Lillehammer have changed their mind and want
    to give Tonya the gold medal.
4.  John Wayne Bobbitt says he is now "man enough for the Wild
    Thing" and is trying to ask her out on a double date with
    Chris Bowman and the Barbie Twins.
5.  World Health officials have issued a recall on certain
    iridescent, man-made fabrics spotted on Tonya and are trying
    to get them off her before they explode, melt, or mutate
    into other life forms.
6.  List members are tracking her down to get the final word on
    what triple-triple combination she did in her '91 long.
7.  Unbeknownst to Tonya, she sends out a homing signal that
    only psychos can hear.
8.  Jeff "Stone" has had 50,000 Dominos pizzas delivered to
    Tonya as harassment and the Noid is after her for the money.
9.  Tom Collins and Whoever-Runs-IMG are desperately seeking
    Tonya to headline their ice shows and sponsor products.
10. She has a reeeally funny bumper sticker that is written
    in reeeally small letters.
(from Eda M. Tseinyev)